


Shows Me How

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Apologies, Complicated Relationships, Established Relationship, Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-12 02:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15330030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: Trying to make things right with all the people he hurt might be the most difficult part of Ben Solo's turn back to the light. Luckily, Finn is there to help him not make a complete mess of it.





	Shows Me How

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [ambiguously](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiguously/pseuds/ambiguously) in the [FinnloFest2018](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FinnloFest2018) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Finn/Kylo & Rey & Poe & Leia
> 
> Ben has turned back to the light thanks to Finn's love. Now he has to make things right with all the people he hurt when he was Kylo, and Finn will be there with him to make sure he does.

“This is stupid.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good start.”

Ben shoved aside his datapad and threw the stylus, sighing dramatically.

Finn resisted rolling his eyes, mostly. “You said you’d try.”

“It’s stupid! Where am I supposed to start? ‘Dear Mom, sorry I killed Dad.’ No? How about, ‘Dear Rey, sorry I attacked you,’ or else, ‘Dear Poe, sorry I tortured you.’” Ben heaved out a breath. “It’s ridiculous!”

“Well, you have to start somewhere, if you want anyone to believe you’ve actually changed.”

“Maybe I haven’t.” Ben crossed his arms, winding himself into a fine sulk. Finn could recognize the signs by now.

“That’s poodoo and you know it. You wouldn’t even be here if that was true.”

Ben ignored him.

Finn considered letting Ben sulk himself out but then decided the whole thing was silly. Ben was being ridiculous; Finn wasn’t going to humor him.

“You know where you actually belong is inside a cell, right?” Finn waited until Ben reluctantly looked at him before continuing. “So honestly, the least you can do is try to make things right with the people you hurt.”

“It’s impossible! You get that, don’t you? I can’t make anything right!”

“You definitely can’t if you don’t even try.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Pretty sure that’s why we get along; I’m the only one who’s asshole enough to put up with you.”

The corners of Ben’s mouth were twitching, like he couldn’t help it.

Finn bit his lip so he wouldn’t smile. “Ben, I’m not saying you can magically fix everything by apologizing. I’m not saying anyone’s going to forgive you. All I’m saying is that if you don’t make an effort, you might as well just leave.”

_ And I won’t go with you,  _ Finn didn’t say, but he was pretty sure Ben knew it without hearing it.

Silence stretched.

Finally Ben reached for the datapad again, and the small sound of the old stylus skimming over the screen settled into the background.

Finn went back to his holonovel.

-

Several days later Ben tossed his datapad into Finn’s lap as he flung himself on the bed beside him. “Now what?”

Finn carefully suppressed a sigh. “You were supposed to write out your thoughts so it would make it easier to talk to the people you need to talk to.”

“I did. Don’t think it helped.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re talking to them anyway. I’m not an idiot; I know you’re stalling.”

“Stalling,” Ben scoffed, but he wasn’t fooling anyone, especially not Finn.

Considering the datapad in his lap an invitation, Finn started scrolling through it. 

_ I pretended I didn’t recognize you on Jakku but I did, I knew exactly who you were -  _

_ Everything you said was true and I hated that it was, that you could see -  _

_ I never pulled that trigger, I knew you were there, I felt you on the bridge, I knew I had to do it but I couldn’t I couldn’t I never could, Mom, I -  _

Finn swallowed and laid the datapad aside. He could feel Ben very obviously not looking at him.

“Ben,” Finn said, and climbed over his hips.

Ben looked up at the ceiling.

Finn stretched himself lengthwise, half on top of Ben, and kissed his neck. “I’m going to help you, dummy,” he said.

After a moment, Ben draped his arm over Finn’s waist and squeezed. “Okay,” he said.

-

They started with Rey.

It was unfortunate that she was in the  _ Millennium Falcon,  _ at least for Ben. Finn knew he had hated the ship for how it reminded him of the past he was trying to deny, and now he simply hated it for the way it reminded him of his father.

Chewbacca was outside, tightening loose bolts on the loading ramp. He whined and Ben said something back in Shyriiwook, his posture a little slumped, like he always was with Chewbacca. Finn thought that Chewie made him ashamed like no one else could without even trying. Uncle Chewie, like Ben said sometimes on accident, before he could stop himself.

“She’s inside?” Ben said in Basic, and Chewbacca answered.

He stroked Ben’s hair with one large hand and Ben almost, almost smiled at him, his shoulders still slumped forward.

Finn followed Ben and said, “Hey, Chewie,” to the Wookiee as he passed. Chewbacca rubbed his hand over Finn’s head, too, and Finn thought maybe that was a gesture of approval.

They found Rey in one of the gun wells, fiddling with the targeting. She looked up when they came in, vaguely surprised, and then back down again. 

“Rey,” Finn said, because he knew if he left him to his own devices Ben would either make a mess of it or just give up. “Do you have a minute? To talk?”

She looked at him, then at Ben, then back to Finn. “Talk?”

Finn nudged Ben in the side. “Ben has something to say.”

Rey’s eyes were widening. “Ben does?” She sat back on her heels. “Well, he can go on and say it then.”

Ben wasn’t making eye contact with anyone. Finn nudged him again.

Finally he said, “Sorry I tried to kill you.”

Rey blinked, then snorted. “Well, I tried to kill you back, so I guess that makes us even.”

Clearly surprised by that, Ben actually looked at her. “So the stuff on the  _ Finalizer... _ ”

Rey shrugged. “I mean, kidnapping me and knocking me out was definitely dickish, but I think I got you back, so…”

_ This is not how I pictured this going,  _ Finn thought to himself, but then he supposed maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised. They were both weird. Finn didn’t know why he liked them so much.

The two of them were just looking at each other awkwardly and then Ben said, “My dad used to make me come around on his trips sometimes, like his attempt at bonding. I got pretty good at fixing up this rust bucket. You want some help?”

Rey considered, gnawing at her lip, and said, “Sure.”

Finn watched Ben crouch down beside her and thought,  _ so weird. _

-

“That wasn’t bad, huh?” Finn said later, stripping down to his underwear and climbing into bed with Ben.

Ben shrugged, apparently engrossed in whatever vid he was playing on his datapad, or at least, pretending to be.

Finn took it out of his hand, moving it to the table next to the bed, to grumbling from Ben. “Hey, come on, I’m way more interesting. Let’s focus on what’s important.” When Ben arched an eyebrow, Finn added with a grin, “I was gonna show you my appreciation for your efforts with Rey.”

Ben spread his legs a little and Finn laughed, leaning in for a kiss, Ben’s hand settling low on his back.

He wasn’t above a bit of positive reinforcement.

-

The rest was harder, though. For whatever messed up history they possessed, Rey was still somewhat positively inclined towards Ben, seeing in him the same sense of deep loneliness that she felt herself. She had believed in the person he could be even before Finn had.

And she hadn’t known him, before. Forgiveness was more difficult when the betrayal was personal.

Poe was in the hangar, which Finn considered to be his natural habitat. This was by design; Poe would be more comfortable, which might help given the distinctly uncomfortable nature of what they were trying to do. The downside, of course, was that Poe was fussing with an X-wing he only possessed because Ben had blown up Poe’s beloved  _ Black One,  _ along with a good number of Poe’s friends.

So, you know. Not Ben’s finest moment. Poe had every right to be bitter.

And that wasn’t even getting into the whole torture thing.

Upon approach, BB-8 started beeping frantically and rolled right up to Ben’s feet, extending that taser appendage he’d used on Finn the first time they met. 

Ben raised an eyebrow. “You want to call off your droid?”

Poe glanced down, then back up to Ben. “No, actually.”

BB-8 chirped something that sounded threatening, rolling forward again and then slightly back. Ben rolled his eyes.

“You might actually like this, Beebee-Ate,” Finn tried, getting the droid’s large round optic sensor to focus on him. “Give us a chance.”

This time the droid’s binary took on a wary note. He looked to Poe.

Poe shrugged. “I’m as curious as you are, buddy.”

Finally BB-8 retracted his taser, though he continued to watch Ben in what seemed to Finn to be a baleful manner. 

“Your ship looks good,” Ben said, which was about as close to friendly conversation as he got.

“No thanks to you,” Poe said, his tone halfway to cheerful. That could be good or terrible; Finn had heard how Poe talked to Hux, and Poe kriffing hated Hux’s guts. “You just here to admire my ship or what?”

Ben gave Finn this fleeting, pleading look, to which Finn shook his head. Ben sighed.

“About your ship,” he started.

Poe waited. He had a smear of grease on his cheekbone.

“Sorry I blew it up,” Ben mumbled in a rush. “It was… nice.”

Snorting, Poe said, “That might be the lamest apology I’ve ever gotten, but thanks?”

Ben grunted.

“Kriffing hell,” Finn said under his breath.

BB-8 erupted in a stream of binary that had Poe looking on in amusement as Ben’s cheeks pinked and his shoulders hunched. Not for the first time, Finn wished he’d made more of an effort to learn, though he could imagine well enough.

An astromech working on an A-wing nearby stopped to ogle, apparently intrigued by BB-8’s tirade, though this newfound attention registered neither to Ben, Poe, nor BB-8, all caught up in their own circle of dysfunction. The droid was soon joined by another, and then a pilot, but all scattered when BB-8 finally fell silent. Finn felt like their absence left the hangar even more awkward than before.

The awkward silence left in the wake of BB-8’s outburst hung in the air for a moment. Then Poe said, clearing his throat to break up the heavy silence, “What he said, basically. Minus the violent part. Probably. It would make your mother sad and I don’t like making your mother sad.”

“This was dumb,” Ben said to Finn. “I told you there was no point.”  

“The point,” Finn insisted, trying to school his expression into supportiveness, “is that I don’t even need to understand binary to know that Beebee-Ate’s rant was factual and deserved, and you promised you’d make an effort. No matter how it’s received.” He could feel Poe staring at him but he wouldn’t turn away from Ben.

Ben lifted his eyebrows at Finn and then gave his attention to Poe. “Uh. Yeah, anyway. I accept that I’m an asshole and whatever your round little murder bot here decides to do to me would be fair, so. See you around.”

With that, he did actually turn to leave, while Poe gaped at his back, uncommonly speechless.  Ben’s footsteps echoed into the corridor. Something crashed. Finn hoped it wasn’t irreplaceable.

Finn sighed. “Baby steps?” he offered to Poe, and then hurried after Ben. He eyed the damage in the corridor left in Ben’s wake. Food rations. Those could be repackaged. Hopefully.

“That could’ve gone better,” Finn muttered to Ben as he caught up to him, walking quickly to match Ben’s long strides. 

“I dunno, I thought it went okay,” Ben said, quirking a half-smile, and Finn couldn’t help but return it.

Fucking ridiculous.

-

So maybe it could have gone better with Poe, but it definitely could have gone a lot worse, Finn considered. It was fine enough for a start. Like he’d told Ben, the point wasn’t about being forgiven or absolved or anything. Finn knew Poe well enough to know that while he was undoubtedly still angry, he would appreciate the fact that Ben was willing to admit he had made mistakes and genuinely wanted to do better, even if he couldn’t erase the things he had done.

If he was kind of an asshole about it, well, Ben  _ was  _ an asshole. Poe already knew that. Hell, Poe was kind of an asshole, too, when he wanted to be.

Baby steps.

After Poe, though… After Poe came the general.

Ben was quiet as they stood outside her quarters. Finn was quiet, too, because what the hell was he supposed to say? He wasn’t even sure he should be here; he was absolutely resolved to help Ben however he needed but this was his mother. Finn felt intrusive and out of place, and had no idea what he could possibly do that would actually be helpful. 

It wasn’t like Ben hadn’t already had intensive - and sometimes explosive - conversations with Leia, that had led to where they were now. It was the kind of relationship, though, that was clearly going to take ongoing rehabilitation.

“My mother says we should stop cowering outside the door like nerf herders,” Ben said, rubbing the back of his head.

Finn laughed, a sort of combination of nervous, terrified amusement. It was still weird, the way they could do that, and this was  _ the general _ . “Maybe it should be just you, though.”

“She says you’d better come in because you’re family, and then something kind of rude that I’m not going to repeat.”

“That’s…” Finn stopped, unsure really how he felt, except that he was a little bit frightened and maybe gratified, too, that Leia Organa considered him part of the family. Ben’s neck was flushing; it was cute. “Okay. We’d better not keep her waiting any longer, then.”

General Organa was at her desk when they came in, and she looked up at them, a wry set to her lips. “Seems as though you’re making the rounds.”

Ben swallowed. “Finn… Finn thought it was a good idea.”

“I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” the general said, amused, but warm, too. 

It didn’t seem to matter that Finn didn’t know what to say as he broke eye contact with her and stared at the floor, because the general just pushed her seat back and stood, moving over to her bed, where she sat, watching Ben.

Ben clearly didn’t know what to say, either, clenching and unclenching his fists, like a nervous gesture. Finn looked at him, his mouth weirdly dry, and wished he knew what to do.

The faucet in the adjoining refresher must have been leaking, a periodic dripping sound echoing strangely loudly in the uncomfortable quiet. Finn shifted his weight, tense, his mind disappointingly blank of good ideas.

And then Ben said, “Mother,” swallowing convulsively. He stepped forward, and again, until he was close to the bed. He dropped to his knees at General Organa’s feet with a thump, and laid his head in her lap like a boy.

The general just watched him, her expression all naked emotion like Finn so rarely saw from her, as composed as she was. She rested her hands on his head, stroking his hair, and Ben shuddered faintly, his eyes squeezed shut.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” the general said, just as softly, and kept stroking his hair.

It felt like miniature explosions were setting off in Finn’s insides, like he might burst, and he still felt like he shouldn’t be here, seeing this, that he was intruding, but he felt things about Ben that he had never felt before in his life and that he hardly knew what to do with.  _ Ben,  _ he thought, watching Ben with his mother, and knowing that he would do almost anything to make this work.

-

After, Ben was subdued as they walked the halls but embarrassed by the redness of his eyes and the blotchiness in his cheeks to the point of awakening his quick temper. He barked at a tech who collided with them accidentally and Finn carefully steered him into their quarters where he couldn’t scare anyone.

Finn knew by looking at him that Ben didn’t want to talk, and that was fine. Finn wasn’t sure what there was that was worth saying. He knew, though, that Ben needed something and he also knew that Ben wouldn’t ask.

So Finn pushed him onto the bed, and Ben fell back with a surprised exhale of breath, pulling Finn on top of him. Finn dragged the back of his hand over Ben’s cheek while Ben watched him with those dark eyes.

Anything he could say would probably sound wrong, or stupid, or condescending, and Finn didn’t want to say anything anyway. He just leaned down and kissed Ben, lips parting, as Ben kneaded his waist.

“This my reward?” Ben murmured.

Finn hummed into his mouth. The whole positive reinforcement thing seemed to work well, and anyway, Finn got something plenty enjoyable out of it, too.

They still had a long way to go but Finn thought this was a pretty good start.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my friend for beta, especially the reminder that description is a good thing. :D Title from Stone Temple Pilots.


End file.
